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Monday, April 23, 2007 Last Saturday went to East Coast Park with Huixian, Jieyi, Ziting and Kai Ting. Had a small small pot luck and have fun roller blading. Woot!~ Ziting is very good is blading lorz. *cLaPs* Most of the time I am like slacking while she keeps pulling me. *LoLx* I realise the feeling of blading super fast is so great! I love that feeling! But at the same time I also scare and worry that I might fall down lorz. Haas... Anyway, I really did had alot of fun with them and I love hanging out with them. (^_~) Will upload photos taken with them later on. Haiz... Recently alot of things happened. I am feeling very lost and incompleted... As though I had lost my soul somewhere else. My body and soul seems to be separated far far away from each other and I just can't seems to put them back and together again anymore. I am feeling very weak and lethargic. I really feel like giving up but there is a voice in my head keep telling me not to give up at this time. *sObX* I am feeling very terrible but no one knows how I actually feels. Probably because I don't wish to talk about unhappy things and don't like to share unhappy things with people? *CoNfUsEd* I just want people around me to be happy bahz. I can feel my inner self being so fragile that I had to almost put a tag on myself telling people "Fragile!~ Please handle with care." I don't know where exactly to start telling my long long story and don't know how to start saying. Hmmm... Maybe start with relationship thing first? After so long, I realise that loving a person who don't love you is like walking towards a lane where you know you will only end up in a dead end. It's scary and torturous and I don't like this kinda feeling at all. *rOaR* Where is my "guardian angel"? How come my "guardian angel" seems to be missing when I badly need help? (T_T) "Guardian angel"... Where are you?!? I need you! Don't leave me alone! *sObX* Please come back to me... *ShOuTs* We are like walking in 2 very different directions and pursuing 2 different futures now. He have got his own friends and activities, I have got mine too. Seems like there is nothing much in common between us now. Everything seems so unfamiliar and distant. I have to admit that I don't feel good this way and I am very affected by all these. I have to admit that it pains and hurts me alot lot lot to know he is going out with another girl in his life, talking on phone for hours with another girl in his life, choose to talk to another girl in his life more than anyone else, keep sms-ing her and obviously sharing problems and happiness with another girl in his life... Someone new he just got to know and he is walking nearer and nearer to her and at the same time walking further and futher away from me. I am kinda fading away in his life... It's just like I don't exist in his life anymore! *sObX* I have got no other choice but to accept the real fact that he no longer belongs to me anymore. *cRiEs* I am confused! Very confused! I don't know if I should be happy for him or I should be sad for myself because I am losing him completely? (-_-) I just miss his smile... The conversations we used to have... Everything about him! This is the first time after so many breakups that I actually feels that I am losing him forever. *sObX* I have never felt so lost and incompleted before and never felt so devastated before. Never! (T_T) Probably Jiali Jie Jie is right. All along he had been there for me and never fail to make my day... He is my emotional support... He is my pillar of strength which keep me going on whenever I feel like giving up everything... He is just my everything! Without him, nothing seems to be going correct and smoothly for me. Everything now seems to be against me and making complicated things even worse. I so feel like giving up! *sObX* I have really learnt my lesson this time round. I had learnt to be good and to be better and I am learning to be as perfect as how I expect my other half to expect from me. Although it hurts alot lot lot lot lot to live in his denial, but I rather live in the denial and let him treat me good and nice, act as though I know nothing about the new girl existence and act as though nothing had happened...etc. I would choose to stay in a dream and don't wake up at all. A dream whereby he is still there for me and where everything is still fine and pleasant. Perhaps walking out of his life completely I will feel much better bahz. Maybe it's really time for me to let go of him. He don't need me anymore, he don't miss me anymore, he don't love me anymore... *cRiEs* Should I stay or go away? Stay? If I stay, will miracle happen and let us be together again one day? If yes, I will really cherish him and our relationship and never never ever to let go no matter what happen in the future. I wouldn't be that toopid again to let go of him and our relationship anymore! NEVER! But question is how long can I endure the pain and hurt? Let the pain numb me completely? Go away? Am I able to let go that easily? An almost 7 years of relationship... Am I able to do it? I start to doubt my ability to do so. *cOnFuSeD* I know I am silly and I am crazy... Just let me be. It wouldn't take very long. I will be fine once I had everything in my mind sort out clearly. All I need now is time to think. P.S: "Guardian angel"... Will you be there for me and going through this tough time together with me? Or are you giving up on me also? *sObX* 这一幕多么熟悉 紧握着你的手彼此都舍不得分离 每一次想开口但不如保持安静 给我一分钟专心 好好欣赏你的美 幸福搭配悲伤 痛是在我心交叉 挫折的眼泪不能测试爱的重量 付出的爱收不回 还欠你的我不能给 别把我心也带走 去跟随 每一次和你分开 深深的被你打败 每一次放弃你的温柔 痛苦难以释怀 每一次kiss you goodbye 爱情的滋味此刻我终于最明白 但欠你的我不能给 我才明白爱最真实的滋味 我终于明白 11:04 PM |
~* MOI DESTINY *~  * i RoCk tHe PrInCeSsY wOrLd * -`HuI sIaN a.K.a HaZeL -`23 GoInG oN To 24... -`28 AuGuSt 1987 -`LoNg BrOWn HaIr -`hAvE 2 DiMpLeS -`BrOwN eYeS -`LoVeS hEr BoYf dEeP dEeP -`bLuR bLuR -`FoRgEtFuL -`cHuBbY -`sOmEtImEs KinDa tOoPiD -`tOoT tOoT~~ -`EmOtIoNaL -`LaZy bUm -`pLaYfuL -`eAsY-GoInG -`FrIeNdLy ( I GuEsS.. ) -`tImId -`sHoRt ( OnLy 158cM neHz.. ) -`cRaPpEr ( LuRvEs tO CrAp aLoT nOnSeNsEs ) -`GuLLibLe * [[__ shhe wishh uponn thhee starrs... `-//* -`PaSs aLL ExAmS, TeStS & aSsIgNmEnTs. -`ObTaIn a bAcHeLoR DeGrEe iN BuSiNeSs MaNaGeMeNt bY yEaR 2012. -`Be aIr-StEwArDeSs oF aN aIrLiNe. -`EvErYtHiNg aBoUt SaNrIo'S My MeLoDy. -`PrEcIoUs MoMeNtS LiMiTeD eDiTiOn FiGuRiNeS WhIcH CoSt $599. -`Go aNy rEsTauRaNtS LoCatEd aT DeMpSeY HiLL tO EaT aNd ReLaX. -`Go On a CrUisE tRiP wiTh BoYf. -`Go EuRoPe fOr ShOpPInG SpReE. -`Go PaRiS fOr ShOpPiNg SpReE. -`Go ToKoYo fOr ShOpPInG SpReE. -`Go HoKkAiDo fOr ShOpPiNg SpReE. -`Go OsAkA fOr ShOpPInG SpReE. -`Go KoReA fOr ShOpPInG SpReE. -`Go FoR HoLiDaY iN sWiTzErLaNd. -`Go FoR HoLiDaY AnD SnOrKeLiNg aT ReDaNg BeAcH. -`Go FoR HoLiDaY aT BoRa BoRa BeAcH. -`tRaVeL aRoUnD ThE wOrLd. - You ask me if I really love you... the answer lies in you * ~* tweety birdz *~ ~* hEaRt TuU HeArT TaLk *~ ~* MoI dArLiNkZ *~ XiAoPiNk SaLeS KaH LeOnG PeTeR BeLiNdA*pEi YiNg WaN ZhEn CeLeStA EuNiCe TaIwAn MeI LeE HuI KhIm XiNyI ReNa ShIrLeY OnG HuI ShAn CrYsTaL PaMeLa wEi Da mAn cHuI CaRoL Su HuI aLtHeA ViCtOr ShIdAh StIcKy-Do*ShU aDoRa*kUrOmI XiAo HuAn LeX EdMuNd KoH EnG ShEnG JeReMy KaI TiNg ShIrLeY JiEyI hUiXiAn*MoMo zItInG JuLi iReNe JoAnNe sIeW WeE mIyO hAn BJ = LOVE YaN TeNg dA ToU FeN's StOrY S.H.E Wu ChUn ~* MoI mEmOrIeS *~ October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011 May 2011 June 2011 July 2011 August 2011 |
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